Freckles and Heated Socks

15 Mar

I am writing today’s post sitting primarily on my right hip. Why am I sitting like this? Because I had a minor surgery on my upper left ass check yesterday.

Pause to absorb the sexiness.

When I say “minor surgery” what I really mean was that I had about 4 shots of Novocaine in my ass and then had a mole sliced off to undergo a cancer screening. I also had the same thing done on my upper right arm. Yesterday was a blast.

These two “slices” will make for my third procedure like this, while the first luckily came up as benign.

If you are freckly and have fair, transparent-ish skin, go to the dermatologist. It may be awkward and they may make fun of the underwear you are wearing, but better safe than sorry and haters gunna hate.

My second bit of news to share is the discovery of battery operated socks and gloves.

My hands and feet are always freezing – to the point that I have to put my feet in a hot tub of water before going to bed to thaw them. This makes skiing pretty painful and my toes and fingers turn purple. My podiatrist informed me yesterday that this is probably Raynaud’s disease and that I should buy some battery operated soaks and a pair of Uggs. Doctor’s orders to buy over-priced shoes – Yes!

Looks like the cheapest pair is about $25 at Target (one of my happy places) or I can get the heated hunting socks from Cabellas for when I am in the mood for some deer population control.

Needless to say, I am pretty excited to try these out.

One thing I am not excited about is that apparently coffee is not good for you and exacerbates the symptoms of Reynaud’s. It also disrupts your normal hormone production and release and imbalances your estrogen and testorone levels, while also drying out your skin. So basically, it makes you bat shit crazy with wrinkles, black cirlces under your eyes and deep set crows feet. Sexy.

As a stage 5 coffee addict, this news hits me like a death in the family. I am slowly transitioning over to decaf and tea and apologize in advance to all my friends, family and loved ones that will be affected by my withdrawl symptoms.


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