Thanks for Nothing, Linsay Lohan

29 Mar

One of my favorite beverages is Kombucha, especially the Guava Goddess flavor. For some reason I really enjoy the vinegar-y flavor and like the health benefits of the live culture probiotics.

Well, thanks to Linsay hot mess Lohan, certain flavors are now required to have a black seal over the top that says “21 and over only”. Why? Because Ms. Lohan blamed her failed alcohol test on drinking Kombucha last June.

Really, Lindsay?

The brand was then pulled from the shelves for a good 3-4 months and came back with all new packaging, a modified ingredients list and a higher price tag. It also got health experts concerned, stating that kids would get a “buzz” from drinking the tea.

Apparently, each tea – depending on the individual fermentation process – can range between 1-3% alcohol.

Ok, so if Lindsay was chugging down a couple of these before her alcohol test, then I can see how she may in fact fail. However, if you have had one before, you know how hard it is to chug it. Not pleasant. Basically, my complaint with Lindsay using Kombucha as a scapegoat is that I spent the summer of ’11 without my sweet addiction.

The silver lining in this story is that the exact alcohol percentage has now been measured. This is good to know because I often buy one and then run errands, or have them on a road trip – which essentially is like drinking a very weak beer while driving. Not enough to blow over the legal limit, but still circumstantial enough to arrest you on suspicion of a DUI.

No bueno.

I probably should have titled this “the dangers of fermentation”, but I am sticking with the current – it’s provactive; it gets the people going! (Thanks Jay-z)


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